The 2006 Flu

Well, I just got over the most insane flu I have ever experienced. Not to toot my own horn (if that is what I am doing here), but I have been pretty tolerant of illness and such over the years, due to the fact that I am allergic to just about everything out there. I have asthma, I get rashes when it is dry outside, I am affectionately referred to as Bubble Boy by some.  This flu is something that I would not wish on anyone.  The only “good” thing about the flu is that it is very short lived. It started with me feeling bloated after a great Christmas Eve dinner at Danielle’s parent’s house with family and friends. At about 10pm I started to begin to feell bloated. I figured this was simply from the insane amount of food and wine I had consumed that night, the only difference (from other over-indulgence evenings) was the mild acid reflux I was experiencing at the time.  I tried to go to sleep around midnight, but I could not.  Not because I was excited about the gifts I had bought for Danielle, but because my feeling of bloatedness had now turned into a feeling that my stomach was going to explode if it got any bigger.  I was very uncomfortable.  I asked Danielle (told her) that I needed something like Tums or Pepto to make this feeling go away. We were at her brother’s house so she fished out some Tums and handed them over.  I popped two and felt some grumbling down below.  I figured they were starting their magic.  Not much if anything happened and I popped two more.  Still a little more grumbling and I was sitting up now in bed, pretty miserable. Danielle told me that I should “sit on the toilet.”  Wise words, so I did.  Well, that is when the fun party began.  The big D kicked in right away and it was, well the worst it could be.  But, it was a big relief.  But, after I stood up and cleaned up, I felt something in my mouth. Could that be? What is that? Oh, no. Not the saliva. Yes, that is the saliva.  Seconds later I was puking violently into the toilet. Well, that should take care of anything that was left because it was violent and complete and to be honest, I felt a hell of a lot better when all was said and done.

But, that is where the fun began.  Puking and Diarrhea were the least of my problems, I just didn’t know it yet.  I managed to get to sleep after that, but woke up a short while later with terrible aches and the chills. Clearly, I was running a small temperature, but I felt extremely uncomfortable. I will be honest, the normal aches and pains associated with the flu and running a temperature don’t really bother me all that much. These aches and pains were very thorough in their effectiveness and distribution. I felt terrible.  That managed to hang on until the early hours of the morning when the little people of the house woke up to start the Christmas morning magic.  I was staying in bed despite how much I wanted to see Syd and my Godson open their gifts.  It proved to be a wise decision because after about 30 minutes of the present opening going on downstairs I got violently ill again.   This time, after 4 full-throttle sessions, I had nothing left to give. I was very weak and dehydrated.  I was worked.

Rather than me give you more play-by-play, suffice it to say that the symptoms of this years’ flu are short lived but very severe. Should you manage to contract it, there are a few things that you will want to do.  Drink as much fluid/Gatorade as you possibly can stomach.. I was so severly dehydrated after day two, that I woke up to my stomach muslces in a complete cramp for 15 minutes. If you have never had this experience before (I had it once as a child when the on-call pediatrician prescribed a “conflicting” medication to the one I was taking….he didn’t check my file/chart), suffice it to say you think you are dying.  It is a terrible experience and if it happens to you, get a heating pad on your stomach and lay flat on the floor…and try to get fluids into your body.  Gatorade has more than just the necessary water your body needs, but also essential amino acids that your body needs to metabolize things related to it.  It took me a couple of gallons (literally) yesterday before I was back up to normal urine color (rather close to it).

I don’t really think there is much more that will help you other than fluids.  Drink a lot of them and stay away from everyone if you get this thing. It is terrible and you do not want to pass it along.

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